Last 3 letters of the spring

Just call it what you want.

recent posts

  • It’s a knockout, babe

    Went through airport border control.

    Twice.

    You would have laughed so hard – very dana-coded ofc (checks out)

    The little things which aren’t little 

    and the bitter longings – will they ever sweeten? (Lol)

    Tell me more. about the time(s) you felt like running. You said. It’s been a while. 

    I said. I can(’t) relate.

    Happily ever after, but make it poorer. 

    My silly spells, your heartfelt walks away. Abandon all hope, Or, something deeper. 

    I would have downloaded another stupid app, just to 

    eavesdrop 

    right-down: 

    How do you open up your soul? I have a superpower. 

    Allowed, Are They? Enough 

    to see blindfolded windows…Not to worry, 

    there is always more to witness…homeless love 

    without shelter. guilting you into submission. 

    questioning my witchness. How did I sink into

    that sickness? Or,

    somehow deeper.

    Its highest form.

    of course.

  • Different Expectations 

    That was sad, there’s no point denying how sad it was.

    You only recognize it, when you’re no longer in it.

    It was the real me, and it was the real you, yet “it wasn’t really it”.

    In the middle of the night

    brawling air just to come out alive at 07:31

    as if I was never on the other side

    as if I was never THE…

    still fighting back my wounded mirrors

    shadows of my innocence 

     

    I’ll hold your hand when the big scary guy will lurk 

    around your house 

    politely scream your name (in my head, how else) and let (the other) kiss my shins

    I’ll find my way out

    I say, but I can’t 

    give you more than I’m allowed to grieve 

    You love, and then you lose

    and there is no other meaning

    It’s not that deep.

    It was one of those things on one of those days.

    That’s it.

  • Rebound

    After you get over the firsts

    very quickly come the seconds

    a second wave of unsent happy birthday texts 

    and unwitnessed inside jokes

    should’ve, could’ve, would’ve named as “drafts” in my google docs

    relentless

    I couldn’t see my face, so I looked at yours,

    very very loudly screaming in my ears, unnecessarily dreadful: me too.

    It doesn’t go away

    It’s just

    we are in the after now

    and my hair is long again

    It really sucks to fall apart in a spotless house

    so…what know

    Are your seconds as real as mine?

    Relentless.

  • Placeholder

    The pause/ the silence/ your heart racing/ cheering me up/ your stupid jokes/ your nervous smile/ your man up voice/ your way of saying: I am here/ please notice/ I don’t know how else / but take this/ take everything from me/ would it help/ I figured yes

    I just couldn’t…find the words/ failed to read between the lines/ was I using my eyes/ and held my arms instead/ called a cab half dead/ I know (too) how to run!/ couldn’t move my legs/ really needed to sit down/ dizzying sounds in my ears/

    like a broken record:

    I am afraid…of you, of this, of what I know will happen If I keep my promise

    oversized hoodies for men – dressed up doll or playing house?

    I hoped you’d understand. I wished you could – hoarding scrunchies as a final act of love

    and I was thinking about you 

    yk, I was wrong.

  • Just call it what you want

    I loved that apartment –

    and I liked it not because it was just a cool apartment

    sure thing it was!

    I loved that apartment because you loved me in it.

    Here all things die silently screaming.

    Here I might not even be.