Last 3 letters of the spring

You said you didn’t want to be here 

as in the room?

as in love?

As in with me?

As in at all?

It stayed with me

that one hour

The way I took my clothes off

My white vest first

It felt like smoke in the lungs of a person who never smoked

Then my skirt

I said, I don’t want to wrinkle it 

funny—these are the things we worry about before it’s all gone

I left it on the edge of the bed, and in my underwear with my long, messed-up hair 

I laid next to you

kissing your arm

kissing your chest 

kissed your face

So this is how death must be happening to someone

It’s been 5 months 

Still not sure whether it was real or fair, or right 

So this is how death must feel for someone…It’s been 

5 months; still not sure whether I wanna be here 

as in the room?

as in love? 

As in with you?

As in at all?