The last 3 letters of the spring

Eyes closed.

I summon her images
her face 
her dimples 
her body
her stretch marks
her touch 

her touching my innocence

With nowhere to go
With no one to love 
I live with imaginary paintings
among imaginary feelings
I live in imaginary spaces
among imaginary faces

Did you call to find out if I was in my right mind 
or not?

Did you knock?
On 
a 
door
locked 

Did you throw away the letters?

from left to right, which read -
I am not ready

from right to left I read -
ready not
Am I?