The last 3 letters of the spring

I need a wise serious man to tell me what to do
I need a mother
A scholar 
Someone who knows the truest truth

I need someone else to carry my death for me 
Tell me Please
Am I going to make it? Make…what? You are stuck in it like the rest of us.

I need the other cheek to stop turning 
I need the paint to stop staining 
all of the days we have left 
If I knew I'd be sinking now I would have never…Never what? Never kissed his closed eyes? Never cooked him dinners? Never watched him slowly falling out of love with you? 
Fawning 
Scrolling through 
all the tarot readings 
Go deeper
Do not think you aren't faking 
all the distance inwards—another way of escaping the closest you’ll ever get to God.

I need to know what's underneath

His colours weren't really colourful 
It's either this or 
life is a black and white dump show playing pretend might need a wise serious man to tell me otherwise 
Can I please
be wrong 
this time 
‘cause I swear there is nothing left to say
It was the realest thing—you do not leave the ones you love