The last 3 letters of the spring

the pause / the silence / your heart racing / cheering me up / your stupid jokes / your nervous smile / your man up voice / your way of saying I am here, please notice / I don't know how else  / but take this / take everything from me / would it help / I figured yes

I just couldn’t / find the words / failed to read between the lines / was I using my eyes / and held my arms instead / called a cab half dead / I know / too / how to run / couldn’t move my legs / really needed to sit down / dizzying sounds in my ears

like a broken record:

I am afraid / of you / of this / of what I know will happen / If I keep my promise / oversized hoodies for men / dressed up doll, or playing house / I hoped you’d understand / I wish you could / hoarding scrunchies as a final act of love / and I was thinking about you 

yk, I was wrong.

I loved that apartment, and
I loved it, not because it was just a cool apartment
Sure thing, it was!
I loved that apartment because you loved me in it
Here all things die silently screaming
Here I might not even be
...